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:iconsenpaisakura:
I feel the beginnings of a good idea developing here, but after reading it three times I'm still not quite sure what you are trying to say with this piece. I hear the themes of temporary-ness and cyclical-ness and death, but they're not quite connected enough to make sense.

On the whole, it has a rather choppy effect. If you were going for the choppy, disconnected effect then I congratulate you on your genius. If you were trying to create a surreal atmosphere, then I suggest you work on the flow and rhythm. I would love to hear what you were going for with this piece.
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Thank you for the critique! Structure wise I was kinda following a tune in my head, though it did end sort of abruptly. I intended for this to be abstract, so it all depends on how you want to look at it. I sometimes use words as symbols kind of. Might be that I could use a few more details to enhance the clarity of this piece. It had a lot to do with some wandering thoughts I had at the time of writing it. Thank you so much for your feedback! :hug:
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:iconsenpaisakura:
SenpaiSakura Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
and thank you for your clarification :)
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